In the last few days I have had a lot of time to contemplate death, and boy am I still terrified.
It’s the kind of thing that I can be going about my day and then I will feel so overwhelmed by the idea of death that it stops me in my tracks.
Some days I feel at peace with the idea but most often I am paralyzed with fear.
Although I consider myself spiritual and have always believed in reincarnation there is a fear in my rational mind that says what if it just ends.
And then I try to contemplate nothingness and my brain cannot comprehend it.
Sometimes I get to thinking that at least through the children I may one day have I can live on through them, and then I wonder if my children will be just as scared as I am of death and should I even have them at all sparring them the dread.
I am amazed by people who have faith and can with all certainty tell me they believe in an afterlife, but I am not so sure.
And if this is all there is maybe I should do more with the time I have.